This is the time of our lives

Well first draft gone. That’s life right? Clear the slate, kind of fitting for the moment. Take 2. 

I must admit, I’m quite comfortable in my dwelling. Thankful that each day comes with a little surprise from the divine- a little gift from the creative muses- weather it’s a strong urge to garden or draw, write or dream- each day unfolds graciously. Life is quiet and I have the time to listen. What I’m gathering right now- is that people are quite emotional- good or bad, for better or worse. And I think we’re all dealing with our inner beings a lot more rather these days. A bit easier and perhaps more demanding then when we rush around and distract ourselves with so many others. Living in New York City, the amount of humans I saw on a daily basis was massive- each with their own unique imprint on my brain or heart- or perhaps none at all- just by-passers that maybe I’ll see a handful of times in my life but will never connect with. Then there are those who leave quite an impact on you- even when you don’t see them on a daily basis. In keeping “Past Tense/ Future Perfect” in the back of my mind, I listened to a talk by a speaker who believes that we are purely only made up of our memories. What a bold statement, I mean surely we have some new information brimming in our brains. But all our choices, all our actions, and quite possibly -desires, are built on what has happened. So when you take it back, yes, maybe I am that three year old, who wants to draw and play in the garden and watch birds. Maybe I’m a bit internal but have an entire world going on all the time inside. Maybe I am the same girl who was so proud that she won the drawing contest for the playbill cover that got her free theater tickets to “The Princess and the Pig.” Maybe she did put her father on a strange pedestal that was both far away and quite tall… All these memories create this moment. My question, and I think coming back to the piece- is -what’s next? How does one take this big meat bag of everything that ever happened ever and move forwards- or are we just destined to make decisions only based on yesterday? Can we become someone ready to become “empty full?”